The Desk is Warm, The Feet Are Cold

I've had some pretty boring jobs in my time. Considering I'm fairly lazy I've kept myself gainfully employed for 10 years now. Except for a 2-year break where I moved to another city and got high (I think they call it University) I've been constantly working, and I even worked as a bread-slicer in my 3rd year at Uni. That was awful, let me tell you.

As well as 3 stints in 2 different supermarkets I have delivered newspapers (for a while anyway, before I started dumping them into some local bushes) served dinner at a hotel (I once spilled soup down a woman's back and then denied it despite being observed doing so by the entire table) and folded shirts in a men's clothes store (under the employ of a sociopath named Rob who readily enjoyed torturing his teenage underlings with a number of disgusting techniques, his favourite being wiping the sweat from behind his balls on your top lip so you could smell nothing else all day). I said that I have kept myself employed. I didn't say that I enjoyed it.

However, for the most part, I have enjoyed my teaching jobs in Korea. I have very little accountability or real responsibility besides keeping the kids entertained. I am able to actual impart a little knowledge onto the little shits, and when that doesn't work we can play hangman. It's fun. This year especially, with my teaching day ending at 1.30pm or earlier, I have been able to take my working life with a pinch of salt, as most of the time it doesn't feel like 'work' at all. But I will say, with all the respect that is due, that the Korean schooling system is stupid.

I am sat in my office at 3.05pm on a Monday afternoon. This is what I have done so far today.
  • 08.30 Arrive at school
  • 08.30-09.00 Drink coffee, surf the internet
  • 09.00-09.25 Realise that the Superbowl is on, take a second to decide whether I care then try to find a decent stream
  • 09.25-11.30 Watch the Superbowl, marvel at the number of adverts, vaguely wish I lived in America, become disgusted with the power of consumerism, realise I am a consumerist
  • 11.30-11.55 Stare blankly at the computer screen, mindlessly hitting F5, hoping somebody has done something on facebook that I can look at
  • 11.55-12.30 Sob softly into my kimchi and rice and try to pretend it's a burger
  • 12.30-3.00 Watch House, shivering.
I don't get it. I don't know why I'm here. Considering what other people have to do for their jobs then I shouldn't really complain about doing nothing but it's so....so...boring. All we're doing is wasting time. The office is full of people on the Internet, the heating is on full blast and it's still cold, it's annoying. All those times when I was slicing bread before dawn in Lancaster I would have killed someone for a job like this. Now, I'm bored as hell.

Anyway, I must run. Someone I don't care about has updated their facebook status.

Love, Smithy x


Postman said...

What the heck? Are the students on strike or something? How come nothing's happening at the office?

I tell you, it's easy enough to forget I'm a consumerist when I see Superbowl ads. This year's lot was absolutely rotten. Not an original idea nor stimulating premise in the bunch. Not even funny, most of 'em. It was a big letdown. The Who, in fact, were the highlight of the whole thing. Aside from the fact that New Orleans won, of course (f*ck Indianapolis)...

Postman said...

P.S. Based on the title of this post, I expected the first sentence to be "I have a fish I like to hold."

davecunning said...

The grass is always greener on the other side, hey? Amazing. I remember having similiar queries about why in the world I was in Korea; when you get home and you're done, the answers become a little more apparent. The alternative employments in Canada aren't that awesome either!