18.8.10

smithyactuallyblogs

So I've fallen off this blog game.

In the weeks since my last post I have travelled to and returned from China, booked flights to 2 different continents and contemplated the bloody murder of several small children. I resisted. Little shits.

But I have failed in my blogging and I apologise. I apologise from the bottom of my heart to each and every person that regularly reads this blog. I will now apologise to each of those people, individually.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Okay, done.

China was cool. It was a constant battle to hold onto my money as there was a different person trying to take it from me around every corner. I don't think I've ever drank so much bottled water and paid such varying prices for the same product.

Bottle of water from a corner shop - 10 yuan.

Exactly the same bottle of water from some Mongolian on the Great Wall - whatever he wants.

It was the hottest, most disgustingly humid weather I have ever experienced. I start sweating at the sight of exercise anyway, but I honestly took about 2 pisses in 10 days. I just sweated out all the hundreds of bottles of water I was drinking.

Korea isn't much better but at least I'm inside most of the time teaching summer camp. I fucking hate it. The last time people suffered this badly at a Korean camp they were called PoWs. Never mind, over soon.

And then I'm off to the People's Republic of Canadia to check how the colonies are doing before returning to ENG-ER-LAAAAAAAAAAND home of the normally-timed football matches and the roasted meat. And the recession. And the unemployment. Oh the high, high unemployment figures. I hope you're ready for me, Job Centre.

Nah I'll be fine. Right? Yeah. Fine. Absolutely fine.

Anyway, I need to go officiate a Golden Bell quiz full of spoilt, rich Gangnam kids and their inept teachers.

Toodles.

Love, Smithy x

3 comments:

Postman said...

Apology accepted.

How DID you resist the temptation to slaughter those little Gangnam shits?

"The last time people suffered this badly at a Korean camp they were called PoWs."

HA!

I think you should immediately change the name of this blog to "smithyactuallyblogs." Yes indeed. That would be a prudent move.

Looking forward to reading about your eventual and undoubtedly triumphant return to Ing-Gu-Rund.

smorphie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
smorphie said...

So is this the 'epic wrap up to your time in Korea' that you promised??? If so, I'm disappointed...severely.