I've said it before and I'll say it again. Old Korean women can fuck off.

Old Korean men are annoying. They are racist, they are rude, they are functioning alcoholics. But I quite like them. They fart loudly in the street. They make me laugh.

Old Korean women, on the other hand, are nasty. They are sly. An old Korean man will stare at your girlfriend's chest and smile to himself. An old Korean woman will stare at the same chest, hiss like a cat and mutter expletives to herself. She will slap with her hand any skin that contains tattoo ink. And she will move away from you on the subway if you try and sit next to her.

These are all true stories by the way.

They wear the most ridiculous clothes, almost always travel in groups and have absolutely no respect for your personal space. This is true of all Koreans in Seoul, but the Ajumma will simply push past you and use their diminutive size to squeeze through gaps that you would not think possible. They will take your place on the bus and force their way onto the subway before you have chance to get off (which just so happens to be one of my biggest bugbears. The other is the expression 'A tad bit...').

And they look ridiculous. They look like Doink The Clown, in fact. They put make up on with a trowel, have ridiculous permed hair that they spray paint daily to match their ludicrous cardigans and carry huge handbags in which they can only keep the severed heads of their victims.

In Korea, the phrase 'respect your elders' takes on a whole new meaning. I once heard a Korean say 'your parents are like royalty, your grandparents are like Gods'. This is very true. And I am all for respecting my elders. I would happily give up my seat to anybody older than me, I'm all about holding doors open and I am particularly polite when it comes to elderly people. But this shouldn't be expected to the point of having complete disregard for those around you. Because the older generations in Korea know that society is based around looking up to them, they go around treating people like shit just because they can. And if you are white and younger than them then you have no chance whatsoever of getting any respect from them. They are nasty, selfish bigots.

So, to conclude. Old Korean women - not for me.

Love, Smithy x


Natasha said...

muahahaha wow you're an asshole

Postman said...

They did seem more unfriendly than the men, didn't they? Although I'm glad I never had anything like what you describe (hissing or slapping) happen to me. The ajumma manning the soup shop in Gyeongju kinda slammed the food down in front of me disapprovingly, but apart from that...

This is a tad bit hilarious, mate. Excellent descriptions.