K-Blog Warfare

I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with my friends and family, that's all. I gave the URL out to my facebook friends and waited to see who came to read. They started trickling through. I still receive next to no numbers that are worth shouting about but hey, I have a big ego, I want people to read. Therefore, like the sniffly little wretch that I am, I went to the Godfather of Korean blogging, Mr. Wonderful.

"Please Mr. Wonderful, sir, can you please tell people my blog address so I might get more than 3 hits a day Mr. Wonderful, sir?"

And he did, god bless him. He 'pimped my blog' as it were. I'd be flattered if I thought he'd done it on merit (he'll do it to anyone who asks) but that's beside the point. It's been done. I just have to sit back and wait for the stats to pile up, right?

Well, wrong. There a plethora of bloggers on this god-forsaken peninsula, largely because there's fuck all else to do when you get here and largely because this lifestyle attracts the kind of person that thinks other people should be interested in what they have to say. ANd you end up with a lot of spare time on your hands.

There seems to be 3 different kinds of bloggers. There are the ones that think that they are providing an irreplaceable service, that they are being used as a fountain of all knowledge on Korea (these people might insist on calling it the Republic of Korea) and react very badly when their authority is called into question. Poor ol' Crissy Snowflake, for example. We'll call these the ROKkers.

The other side to this coin are the Mr Wonderfuls and the KRDs of this world, who write for their readers but don't seemingly give a shit if they are of help to other people. They write to entertain, not educate. These people have an interesting relationship with the ROKkers, entering into wars of words with them and taking the piss whilst simultaneously keeping a close tab on them and helping to push up their numbers. Lets call these the FUKkers.

And then there are people like me. We started blogging to let our mothers know that we're still alive, and got sucked in by receiving more than 1000 hits in a month. Measly numbers when compared to the Idiot's Tale, but enough to pump up our egos. Lets call us SUKkers.

Anyway, these ROKkers, FUKkers and SUKkers have all been pitted against each other by a seemingly innocuous survey over at the little-read 10 Magazine. What probably started out as an after-thought has now turned into all-out warfare with back-biting, accusations of treachery and campaigns of hate coming from all angles. There are only a handful of possible winners, realistically, or so I thought until I checked the listing today.

Who the hell is Trish?

Did I miss a meeting? Is it suddenly the done thing for a country full of expat English-teachers in their 20's to read a blog about drapes, car washes and bloody framing companies? I mean, all respect to Trish, she can blog about what she likes, but is it not obvious that it's a fix? 10 magazine does not want a blog that employs the vernacular of an Idiot to be seen as the most popular blog in Korea, hence why it wasn't even included in the voting section to begin with.

Do you know what the problem is though, 10 magazine? It clearly is the most popular.

So I implore all of you - go vote for Mr. Wonderful. Let justice prevail. Before the 15th comes and goes, voting closes and we all realise that it doesn't mean fuck all anyway.

Love, Smithy x