Does a Blog a Blaggard Make?

Any criticism of a blog or blogger coming from someone who maintains a regular blog will automatically scream of hypocrisy. I am readily aware of that.

There are some people out there who take themselves very, very seriously though aren't there? I shall call you people bloggards.

And guess what, dear reader? Since there are a great quantity of blaggards living in Korea, the chance of encountering a bloggard becomes greatly increased.

I follow 3 of the so-called K-Blogs. These are An Idiot's Tale, Korean Rum Diary and Blackchild in Kimchiland. I follow them because they make me laugh and I find them interesting. KRD and Blackchild do very little other than bitch and whine about Korea and the way they are treated by Koreans which I find quite amusing. Blackchild's claim that he is "the only Black person within fifty miles in any direction" makes for a rather interesting take on his surroundings. He doesn't post enough though.

The most fascinating of these 3 bloggers is Mr Wonderful, either a psychiatrist's wet dream or a cleverly constructed character, who is the voice of An Idiot's Tale. He posts 3 times a day at least, and each will have a breakdown of his mundane and unvaried life. He is married to a Korean ("The Dragon Lady") with whom he has two kids ("The Children of the Rice") and refers to his mother-in-law as "The Queen Elephant". Koreans are "Mongols", Soju is "Toad Juice" and he chronicles his increasingly futile attempts to learn the "fiendish Mongol tongue". I find these anecdotes (if that's what they are) hilarious. He writes in short, simple sentences, often repeating the same jokes again and again and flips between self-deprecation "this piece of shit blog" and grandiose bragging "I look dazzling in a suit".

The problem with old Mr Wonderful - old, alcoholic, friendless Mr Wonderful - is that his blog is clearly the most exciting thing in his life and he is becoming a little detached from reality as a result. He claims to get 1000 hits a day, which is fairly impressive, but he is using these numbers to fuel an already inflated ego. He is going around criticising other bloggers like anybody actually gives a shit. There's a dude called Brian Deutsch or something who I was vaguely aware of before Mr Wonderful picked up on him. He's a wannabe journalist I believe who got very involved in the expat scene and maintained a blog that was the go-to page on teaching and living in Korea. Poor old Brian took himself very seriously though, and Mr Wonderful jumped on him. He is now known as Blian Goldenballs and, along with fellow Mr Wonderful-christened K-Bloggers Clissy Snowfrake and Joey Kimchi-Dick, gets ridiculed on a fairly basis. It's all light-hearted fun. 

But I will say one thing.
Mr Wonderful is in danger of turning what was once a hugely entertaining, informative and hilarious blog into a boring piece of shit that makes him look like the saddest man alive. So the other guys are losers who can't get laid and take themselves too seriously - well done for pointing that out. But you're the one getting your knickers in a twist about what they say about you. Nobody cares! People read your page for a laugh. So make people laugh.

But anyway. The reason I was posting. I received an award yesterday, my second actually, and I wanted to make a little comment on it that will inevitably make me look like an arse. Postman said it very well here, but he is more of a gentleman than I. Let me try and not sound like a knobhead.

I don't see the point in these awards. I don't think anyone should be particularly flattered about receiving credit that you have to give. For example, the conditions of my receiving an award from Mashlip (who has a pretty good blog by the way) would be that I have to give it out to 5 other people or something. But I don't want to. I don't follow 5 blogs worth rewarding. Maybe 3. And if I gave one to Mr Wonderful I'm sure I know where he'd tell me to stick it.

So, basically what I'm saying is thanks very much for the award, Mashlip and I'm really pleased you found my blog.

But, if you don't mind, I won't be passing it on.

Love, Smithy x


Mr. Wonderful said...

You can give me an award.

I'll take it.

I'm desperate for attention.


I'm very sad. And my blog is the biggest thing in my life.

Isn't that what you said?

Mike in Korea said...

lol I stand by my opinion.

Mashlip said...

"pretty good blog" eh !?
That's not too bad, I guess I'll take it.

This whole award thing does feel a bit like a forward chain email, though. So I guess I can forgive and forget that you won't play the damn game.

Although, for the record, I didn't pick you just because I had to pick someone. I genuinely thought you deserved it!

Postman said...

Oh, if only I had had the resolve, the principles, the cajones to do as you've done - refuse awards. Would've saved me a lot of pain and effort and groundless head-swelling. I applaud you, Smithy. Way to stick to your code.

This was a rather didactic discourse, too, on the subject of blog quality. You may imagine how flattered I was to see that you'd linked to me within it. Thank you, sir.

Jane Jones said...

Well if it makes you feel any better I don't pass on awards either. Sure, it's nice when you get them, but does it really matter all that much?
Anyways, once again this was funny and well-written. Much enjoyed.